Elaine Carroll & Sam ignore a local murder and Brennan lists the perverted things that turn him on.

Kimia Behpoornia and Brennan go nuts for noods before Tao gives them a marinara serenade.

Andy Bustillos & Lily get the scoop on the whoop in the night, while teens trick Tao with Look Bait.

Jeffrey Self and Grant question the wetness of your shower and the necessity of Lutherans.

Brennan, Lily, and Tao give an in-depth report on Grant, from bad acting to bad bottoming.

Brennan & Tao share auto-erotic tips from the Carfax fox and realize everyone has a cousin Ray.

Katie and Ele Woods give Daddy Updates & report on what Henry Winkler has been making out to.

Caldwell Tanner & Ryan Creamer report on the hottest new festivals, from The Babadook to Cream Town.

Raph & Rekha ask "where are they now?" about Soviet space dogs & take a lady soap company to task.

Rekha interviews Lauren Lapkus on her winning entrant for the Biggest Hog Contest at the state fair.

Mary Holland and Grant break stories on a mascot update and a hot new celebrity power couple.

Vic Michaelis and Rekha report on a town that deserves rain, and a Wolf Blitzer tongue twister.

Mike Trapp interviews Mary Holland about a new movie that combines ABBA, Avatar, and the moon.

Patrick McDonald and Katie Marovitch try to cancel teeth, but get distracted by their side projects.

Lauren Lapkus and Mary Holland dive deep in the local business of a lame town.

Brian Huskey and Raph are a father-son news team with issues to work out (on air).

Shukri Abdi and Tao Yang report on summertime fun while Jess does the impression of her life.

John Milhiser and Jess Ross break a scandal about a sexy photo on a computer in Japan.

The no-laugh newsroom returns with a breaking report on a thicc-ass bird. You turd it fear cursed.

Ally, Grant, Trapp, and Emily Axford are here with all the info you could ever need on bed bugs and much, much more.

The only news team that doesn't know what they're about to read is back with an alarming teen trend.

Our reporters have no idea what they're about to read off their Teleprompter. If they laugh, they lose.

Rekha tells a meaty maternal story about Trapp, and Brennan dives into Breaking News lore.

A bunch of bugs bring you the latest in bug news. Buzz buzz!