If we didn't want to invite you, why would we have included garlic-free tapas and a 'blood' option on the menu?

Katie's office joke costume budget is over $530,000 a year.

This colossal big time piece of crap loser is the best friend I've ever had.

Sorry, Andrew W.K., but there IS such thing as partying too hard.

I'm still sour about her sketch "Whoever Writes Our YouTube Video Descriptions Smells Like Cat Dander And Fart."

Go ahead and remove that Blue Snowball microphone from your Amazon cart. It's not gonna work.

It has absolutely not been too long.

We had to demolish the whole office building. Thanks, Zac.

That festive-depressive time of year for bummer carols, morbid melodies, and mugs of milky liquor.

Coming up next, more of those Greek Cathtestants of the Latter Day Saints classics.

I got you this tattoo of a sick-ass dragon on my back for Hanukkah. You're welcome.

Oh, Grant, relax and shut up -- it all makes sense if you don't think about it.

If everything goes according to plan, we'll have a little bash on my deathbed.

Mayday, mayday -- I'm trapped in a vortex, and none of my social cues are working.

It's actually a really normal fetish. There's, like, a whole subreddit for it.

Hopefully somebody up in heaven will help Raph figure out what to have for lunch today.

No one cares what the traffic was like.

I'm whatever generation it is when you can never die because of a sacrifice made to the olden gods.

I was going to respond, as soon as I finished inhaling.

Leave the grudges to those two terrifying Asian ghost children.

This sketch is funnier than famous 1920s french clown, Pierre LePie!

We finally answer the YouTube commenters' burning question.

Can't we all put our phones away and try to be present during this emergency?

So you're telling me that my mom's Sweetest Boy in World poll was wrong?