This sketch was written by a robot, with the help of Botnik. By the way, writers, if you're reading this, thank you so much, we're not going to need you anymore. Best of luck! Call if you need a reference!
To watch a sketch is to insert yourself into the sketch. Comedy is a shell which we can choose to inhabit and vicariously experience the humor of laughing throughout.
Raph's always upset that he's not being told things everyone else around the office knows, like that he died 6 months ago in a laptop fire.
Real love is all about the romantic gestures he uses to manipulate and control you.